A Raccoon's First Date - One Shot
by Da'SaVage-Tiger
Summary: Rocket's never been one for dates. He's failed at trying one, and now he's pressured to make this one work, now more than ever. So pressured in fact, that he seeks Peter as his Wingman! However, he's not making this look any better for Rocket... but during this time, Peter shares with Rocket a key piece of advice, advice that might make his date take a turn for the best...


**I created this one shot because I saw that there were no oneshots for him with ANYONE, except for one with Gamora, and a bunch of ones with Peter, which I do not like. Sorry to those who like that, but I don't like Male-Male pairings, that's just me.**

**Anyways, don't judge me for the female's name. I named her the way I did because in the story she originated from, my main GOTG story, "Not the Only One," I wanted to give her a name that wasn't to lady-like, and one that didn't sound gushy and mushy and cute.**

**I created this one also to stay my beliefs in dating, when it comes to that. Tell me what you think of the One Shot, and please don't hesitate to review!  
****Rocket's love interest can be found in GOTG Fanfic, "Not the Only One." My main story that is in progress.**

* * *

"This is not going to work. _At all_." Rocket stated to Quill.

He looked down and gazed over the ridiculous clothing he wore. What was Peter thinking? A Tuxedo? Was he stupid, or was he just trying to get the Raccoon killed? Even though Rocket didn't know anything about girls, or at least, not much about them, he knew that this wasn't the kind of clothing he wanted to wear on a date, let alone a first date. But again, it was his fault. He'd decided to go to Peter of all people, for DATE, advice. Now he was about to pay for it, and here he was, standing in a clown's outfit, 10 minutes away from his date.

Peter smirked and checked over him. "Yes, it will. Trust me Rocket, she's going to dig the outfit. You're just not thinking about the positives, man. And hey, you're the one who appointed me your date wingman, so don't go pinning this on, **me.**" Peter insisted.

Rocket rolled his eyes and grumbled. "Peter, have you meet Sam? Do you really think she's the kind of gal that likes Tuxes? There is no way I am turning into a chick magnet while wearing this kind of trash." Rocket facepalmed and looked away. "She's going to hate it, sooooo much," he mumbled under his breath.

The Terran looked at him like Rocket was the most overreacting, overdramatic lifeform in the galaxy, which he probably was, earning him two more achievements next to being the biggest hothead in the galaxy.

"Rocket, dude, you need to chill out. Look at yourself in the mirror, it's not that bad," he insisted, pointing towards the large mirror in front of him, which lie propped against the Milano's wall. It wasn't the best one of the world, considering Peter had scavenged it from a Xandar junkyard, but it would have to do.

At once, Rocket worked up the courage to look up from his hands and at the reflection of himself.

There, he found a recently washed, handsomely groomed, and well-dressed Raccoon, wearing a Tuxedo and a pair of formal black pants to go with it.

The grooming and washing had been Gamora's work, and so had the clothing, which had also been partially Peter's work of art.

But that wasn't how Rocket saw himself as. He saw an abused, overly cared for stuffed animal, dressed up Raccoon, who looked like he'd just undergone the worst makeover of his life.

Rocket's face cringed and he looked away from the image he saw. "I am so dead," he declared.

Peter rolled his eyes in frustration and sighed, trying his best to compose himself. This was going to be a lot harder than he thought. He knelt down beside Rocket.

"Buddy, you've got to give this thing a shot. Sam can't think it's that bad, and you can't either. Besides, what other female Raccoon do you think you're going to find in the galaxy, other than her? Let alone, one that's just like you?" Peter pointed out.

Rocket scoffed at the words, 'just like you.' "Yeah, that's real helpful Quill," he snorted, turning away and crossing his arms. "I look like a complete clown, let's face it. Even if I do find another one like her, how am I ever going to finish a perfect first date?"

"But you look like a well-dressed clown, if that helps," Peter said with an innocent shrug of his shoulders.

"It doesn't," Rocket stated bluntly, glaring at him. "I hate how I look, and I know she will too."

"You don't know that man," Peter said.

"Yes I do!" Rocket protested miserably. "She's just like me, and sense she is, I know how she feels about clothes like this, because frankly, I look like Drax In a red dress."

Peter sighed again and shuffled next to the Raccoon, who just sat against the wall with his arms crossed. "You know, I had a date like this once. A friend set me up with this real pretty Xandarian girl, real hottie too, let me tell yah. Made me wear this fancy suit like you, set up a super fancy setting for the date, and he even put on the most depressing as heck music! And you want to know what set me off about the whole thing? Her personality. It's just- it's just the way she acted you know? She was so into action stuff, and heavy metal music, that kind of stuff. And the whole date seemed so….. unlike me, and unlike her. I mean, when have you ever known me to wear a Tuxedo?"

Rocket chuckled at this weakly. "Never," Rocket admitted. "Lemme guess, didn't go so well?" he murmured afterwards.

To his surprise, Peter smiled and shook his head, before staring off into space. He sighed longingly, as if recalling the memory and scratched his head.

"It went fine, actually. But when I got there, I will admit, she seemed pretty darn surprised at this. She wasn't into the music, I'll admit that to you. She wasn't into the outfit I wore either, or even the setting of the date itself! And she even didn't like some of the food we ate. Not only that, but you know what happened to me halfway through the time ate?" Peter asked.

Rocket shrugged and managed a small smile. "I give up, what?"

"I dumped the entire bowl of hot sauce on my tux!" Peter said.

The Raccoon laughed hysterically at this, but his expression changed to serious again after a few brief moments of joy. "Wait- wait a minute here. Then, how did she still like you after all that stuff, and how'd your date go so well?" Rocket questioned.

Peter smiled a little and put his arms around his own head, letting it rest against the wall freely. "Well, that's the part I'm getting to isn't it? I'll tell you." He leaned in closer to Rocket a little, and whispered three words into his ear. "I brought me."

Rocket's ear twitched in puzzlement and he frowned in confusion. "Say what? 'I brought me?' What's that supposed to mean?" he asked.

The Terran looked him in the eye. "It means that I acted like myself, and I brought myself there. I didn't chicken out, I didn't bring plain old clothing, and I put care into making the date for us- well, my partner and I did. Even after I told her that I wasn't really the one that did all that stuff, that Xandarian girl still digged me! Just because of one little fact: I cared about her. So, the point I'm trying to make here Rocket, is that Sam might not like your outfit, she might not like the date setting, she might not like the music or the food, but I will tell you what she will like overall: You. She didn't come on this date to listen to music, or eat food, or even look at your dang Tux! She came here because she wanted to learn about you, and to see, YOU. You, as in, acting like yourself, being yourself, but at the same time, treating her respectfully. That's what a girl wants, and that's all they're ever going to want," Peter finished.

Rocket thought over what he'd said, taking in every little detail. After a few minutes of silence, Rocket's head rose, and he smiled. "So… do yah think that could happen with me and Sam?" he asked casually.

Peter shrugged his shoulders, as if he were clueless. "I dunno man, you tell me: Can it happen?"

Rocket sat up from the ground almost immediately, his bushy tail flickering with excitement. "Alright, alright, you've got me convinced wingman, I'll do it," Rocket said. He checked the universal clock on the Millano, and his eyes widened in surprise. "Hot dang, it's two minutes after when I'm supposed to be there!" Rocket stated. "Gotta bolt!"

Peter smirked and shoved Rocket towards the doorway. "Go on rodent, go get that girl! You've totally got this man!" he urged him, as Rocket propelled himself through the doorway.

Once he was outside the doorway, Rocket broke into a fast walk down the hall, telling himself words of inspiration inside his head. _You can do this. She's only there for you. Be yourself, she'll like you. YOU, can do this, YOU can do this._

Then, the faint sound of a violin tape playing stopped Rocket where he was in his footsteps, as if a record has suddenly scratched his inspirational thoughts. His tail cringed a little anxiously, and his ears pricked at the sound of the music playing. _You can do this. _Rocket reminded himself, as he stepped towards the source of it.

Peter had generously decided to let Rocket borrow the main room where he usually kept his gift from his mother at, and redesigned it so that way Rocket and Sam could have their date privately, without prying ears, until they were done. It wasn't the best room, but Rocket decided it would do.

The Raccoon made sure his fur was properly groomed on his head, and even straightened out his tux sleeves so that way he would look presentable. With a deep, clam exhale, Rocket Raccoon stepped into the warmth glow of the small room. Immediately, he realized that the lights had been cued to give off a smaller amount of light, and not only that, but a single candle burned ahead of him, sitting right on the center of a velvet covered table, with two fancy stools on each side of it. And sitting in one of them, was Sam, Rocket's date. He wasn't surprised to find that she still wore her normal clothing, her regular black vest suit, which looked just like Rocket's regular vest, except it was long sleeved. Of course, she was a Raccoon, just like him. But, he did notice one slight difference out her appearance. Sam appeared to be well groomed also, and she freshly washed too. Not only that, but as he took a few steps closer, she smelled- good. Really good, too good, extremely good, Rocket didn't know how else to describe it.

And Rocket had to admit, she did looked really attractive, and smelled attractive too. He almost felt his tail flicker in excitement at how much she attracted him, and at that moment, her blue eyes met his. The feeling of her attractiveness almost turned into perverted thoughts when that had happened, and though Rocket knew it wasn't appropriate, he couldn't stop his conscious from wondering about what was really under that vest of her…

He smiled weakly, but hoped it looked convincing enough, and walked up to her, secretly thinking the opposite of what he'd first thought 5 seconds ago. _Forget what I said, I look like a complete dumb idiot!_

He took a seat in the stool across from her, and Sam leaned closer and pecked him on the cheek lightly, making Rocket's face secretly burn up, before she sat back down in her stool. "Hey you," she said, smiling a little. The smile reassured him a little, but Rocket knew she was gazing over the outfit he was wearing too.

"Uh, hey," Rocket replied, clearing his throat, and sitting up a little straighter. He could hear the romantic music playing from the record player behind him, and it did the exact opposite of making him feel comfortable. "Nice outfit," he decided to say. _Bad idea Rocket, very bad idea. _

"Thanks, you look-" Sam's smile disappeared, and she checked over his Tuxedo for a moment. "Good too," she said, uncertainty clearly visible in her voice, "but what's up with the suit?"

_There it is. _It was all Rocket could do to stop himself from faceplaming. "Uh- I, I just thought maybe…. I thought maybe you'd like a change." _Good save! Now keep it going Rocket! _Rocket forced himself to smile a little too, and Sam's smile reappeared a moment later. Sam usually wasn't this nice. Not by a long shot, so Rocket was more than happy to hear her this way, and wanted to enjoy it while it lasted.

"Flattering, I like it," she giggled, letting her tail rest behind her. She looked around the room around her.

"Do you like it?" Rocket nearly blurted the words out in a high pitched, nervous squeak. He knew what his tone of voice sounded like, but he had to know.

Sam seemed taken back at his sudden question, and seemed to sense the large amount of anxiety emitting from him, but she kept her facial expression looking okay. "Yeah, you did pretty good on it, I do like it. Although, it'd be nice if we could've found a way to get a date somewhere nicer and… out of earshot. You know, other than in a tin can floating in the middle of space?"

Rocket kept his cool and sighed. "Well, at least we're both here, right? I mean, that's gotta count for something."

He noticed the wine glasses in front of him, and gladly took to taking his, praying to god that Peter had gotten the right wine, and that Sam wouldn't hate it. Rocket put the glass in the air. "Uh… cheers?" he offered.

Sam took the glass in front of her and pushed it against his. "Cheers," she said, before they both a small sip out of there glasses.

The only thing was that Rocket had chugged the entire glass, right in front of her. Once he was done, he breathed out in satisfaction, but then looked at Sam in alarm, then back at his empty glass, realizing that he'd done that right in front of her. She rose an eyebrow at this, as if questioning Rocket's actions, and the male Raccoon winced as if he'd just been stabbed in the gut.

"Sorry, that happens to me whenever I drink something like that…. it's kind of a forced habit," Rocket apologized. He felt a large burp coming on in his throat, but he forced himself to swallow the air, thought it felt painful to do so, and he shuddered a little as a result.

_Table manners, _Rocket reminded himself miserably. Above all else, he hated following those. But if it would get him somewhere with his date, he would do it.

"So…. Where's the food at?" Sam asked, gazing around the table curiously, then back at Rocket.

Rocket suddenly felt himself turn to stone and become petrified. _I forgot the food! Dang it Quill! Out of all things I list, you forget, FOOD?! Okay, Quill, after I am done making out with this girl and having a good time, you are D, E, A, D!_

"Uh…" Rocket scratched his head nervously, trying to figure out how to explain this one. "I- um, I-"

Suddenly, two metal trays of food were lowered by a mechanical metal hand from above, making Sam gasp in surprise, while Rocket secretly stared up in awe. _I take that back Quill, you are a babe magnet, genius!_

"Enjoy," a disguised robotic voice said through the ship's intercoms, which Rocket could tell was Peter, as the mechanical hand waved its way back into the ship's roof.

Sam marveled at what was in the treys, and Rocket did too in secret. "Rocket did you-"

The Raccoon had almost forgotten that he hadn't made it, and sat up straight, forcing himself to smile again. "Yep- I totally did," he blurted out with a nervous laugh, "It's a secret hobby I guess you could say. What can I say? I'm a secret guy."

Sam let out a laugh and looked back down at the variety of food, before leaning forward and kissing him on the check again. "Thank you." Rocket's face burned up a little at this, but he liked it otherwise.

French fries, pasta frijol with alferado sauce, and Italian Ramen. On each trey it had these same items, along with a few more foods that Rocket didn't even recognize.

They immediately dug in, and at that moment, Rocket didn't think he could be any happier than he already was. Everything was going perfect. All he had to do was keep it there, with the help of table manners. He started with the Ramon first.

"So, what is it that made you want to join the Guardians?" Sam started with about a quarter into the meal.

"Eh, long story, but I'll cut it short," Rocket decided. "I was on a bounty hunt with this buddy of mine. He's real stupid, but he still makes for a good partner," he insisted, making Sam giggle again at this. "So anyway, we ran into this one bounty, which ended up being Quill, and tried to capture him, failed because this random green chick had attacked us out of nowhere, and got caught by the Nova Corp on Xandar. And guess who the green chick was?" Rocket asked.

"Gamora?"

Rocket clicked his tongue and snapped his fingers. "Bingo," he said, stopping to take a bite of noodles. When he'd finally finished swallowing, he continued.

"So, we escaped prison, picking up this other crazy dude named Drax, and came up with a plan to sell the thing that Gomora and Quill were going crazy over, called an Infinity Stone. Apparently it could destroy the universe, kill all life as we know it, blah blah blah, all that good stuff," Rocket explained. "4 billion units, Gamora said we'd sell it for," he said, nearly making Sam spill out her mouth full of food.

Rocket smirked at this. "Anyhow, to keep this little bed time story from getting too boring, I ended up tagging along with them for the rest of that little quest, and in the end, I ended up joining Peter's little ragtag team, right after we saved the universe."

Sam finished her noodles at the moment, having barely touched her pasta. "Wow. Sounds like you've gone a lot with those guys."

Rocket nodded. "I like to think so, and as annoying as they can be at times, those buncha idiots are important to me," he sniffled, and at this point, he was just stirring his Ramen around in his bowl.

He looked back up at her. "So, just a quick change of subject. Where would you like to go, if we could go somewhere other than here…. Alone?" Rocket asked.

Sam thought a moment, then smirked. "The bedroom," she answered.

Rocket had to contain himself from laughing. "No, I mean other than that!" he insisted seriously, though his dirty thoughts told him otherwise.

"Maybe Xandar?" Sam suggested.

"Why there?" Rocket asked. "Xandarians are annoying."

"Well yeah, but…. they do have pretty nice hotels there, I know that for a fact. They also happen to have pretty nice sights to see there." Sam said, feeling her gaze get drawn into his.

Rocket felt himself get closer to her, his stool slowly wheeling over to her. "What kinda sights?" he asked.

Sam drew her face closer to his and she smiled a little. "I like the sunsets there. The mountains too, and the landscape also," she whispered.

Their mouths came even closer, and Rocket thought of the perfect line for this moment- one that he'd secretly learned from Quill.

"You know what I like more than any of those?" Rocket asked in his best seductive tone. "You." He proceeded to press his lips against hers softly, and Sam didn't deny it. But as he bended himself forward off the stool to kiss her, the wheels of the stool suddenly screeched out from under him, and Rocket found himself slipping off the edge and falling onto the floor instead, where his mouth painfully hit the cold, metal ground.w

He grunted a little in pain, and cursing under his breath, the Raccoon sat up from the ground clumsily, his Tuxedo now ripped on the right sleeve. Rocket sighed in frustration and looked back up at Sam, who looked just as surprised as he did that he'd fallen that fast. The Raccoon shook his head back at his female counterpart and sighed again. "I'm sorry, that was totally uncalled for," he apologized, jumping onto the table this time.

At this point, he felt like a complete idiot. First the outfit, then the annoying and depressing music, which Rocket knew Sam didn't even like, yet Peter had to put it on, then he acts like a complete drunk, then he falls when he's about to kiss her! How much worse could this get? Would she even like him after this? Even though these seemed like little things at the time, Rocket still felt like they were big things, things that were affecting the very outcome of his first date!

He had to admit, he thought maybe Quill was right for once, but now, he wasn't so sure that Sam felt that way. Maybe she did like Rocket, but he wasn't so sure if she'd liked the date.

Rocket sighed and sat down at the edge of the table, putting his hand on his face. "You didn't like the date, did you?" he immediately insisted gloomily, his tail lowered in sadness.

Sam's ears pricked and she opened her mouth to speak. "What?" she asked in surprise. The Raccoon leaped over to the table he was on and scooted next to Rocket. "Of course I liked it!" she insisted in alarm. "Why did you think I wouldn't?"

Rocket tried to meet her eyes, but he couldn't bring himself to. "It's just- this date, isn't you. The music, the setting, heck, even this monkey suit I'm wearing is not right! Not only that, but I screwed up big time. I mean, you just found out I'm literally a drunk, that I suck at setting up dates, and that I'm a complete idiot when it comes to this romance thing!" the Raccoon looked down in shame. "I didn't even make the food."

Sam looked at Rocket, and her eyes darted over him and his facial expression. She scooted right next to him the next moment later, nearly touching his fur.

"Look Rocket…" she started, sighing with regard, "I- I loved the date."

Rocket's ears pricked in surprise and his gaze rose to meet hers. "How?" he asked miserably, "how can you even stand to be near me, especially after that one time on Knowhere?"

Sam let out a laugh at this. "That was a long time ago Rocket! Besides, I already knew you were a heavy drinker. But I accept it, and I accept you for who you are!" she insisted. She looked back at the rest of the date around them. "I mean… I'll admit, the music, the little fashion show you created here, that little moment with the wine, and the suit you're wearing did weird me out a little….. but those things don't change the fact that I care about you. I didn't come here to listen to music, Rocket, I didn't come here to look at fashionable tables and chairs, or to stare at the dumb suit your wearing!"

Rocket already knew what she was going to say next. The exact words Peter had told him drifted into his head, and at once, a burst of confidence directed those words directly out of his lips.

"You came here for me," Rocket blurted out. Realizing how suddenly he'd just said that, he continued, "that's what you meant to say, wasn't it?" he asked, feeling himself beginning to understand it all.

A smile crept onto Sam's face, before the female Raccoon had tossed herself at Rocket, and kissed him, straight ahead on the mouth.

Right the and there, Rocket knew her answer: Yes.

His tail flickered rapidly and started to pick up pace, and his fur stood on end in surprise, as his date burrowed her lips against his, but Rocket shook off the surprise and hid it, instead, going along with the kiss. At first, it seemed awkward because their snouts had pushed together, but Rocket had quickly reacted to the situation, and took a proper posture to kiss her back. After they were done with the pleasurable and enjoyable experience, the two Raccoons withdrew from each other. For once in a long time, Rocket Raccoon smiled.

"I'll take that as a yes?" he questioned with false suspicion.

Sam giggled and kissed him again on the mouth. "Y-E-S," she replied.

* * *

Secretly, a camera watched the two from a corner, and a quite joyful Peter Quill was victory dancing, and Gamora, Groot, and even Drax all relished in the moment, applauding the date on going so well.

"I am GROOT!" Groot cheered, waving his root-like arms around like a complete idiot, probably falsely assuming Rocket could hear him.

"Yes! And the bomb of love has been dropped!" Peter sang deeply, jumping with joy besides the enormous tree.

And honestly, out of the whole scene, Gamora and Drax were the only two not dancing.

* * *

Rocket frowned and turned his head quickly at the camera's presence, which quickly folded itself back up into the wall. The Raccoon's tail cringed and he secretly growled in anger under his breath.

"Is something wrong?" Sam asked from behind.

The Raccoon rolled his eyes playfully and smirked, now letting it go, and turned back to Sam.

He owed Peter a lot more than he could use words to express, so he figured maybe it was time to let the Terran go. He'd delete the video later.

"No, just a good friend of mine acting like a 5 year old again," Rocket sighed in amusement.

Another smiled appeared on Sam's face. "Shall we go somewhere else where perverted cameras aren't trying to poke around our business?" Sam offered.

Rocket could see the mischievous look in her eyes, and she knew right away where exactly she meant, when she said, 'somewhere private.' His tail flickered with excitement again, and he knew what was to come.

"Sounds good to me," Rocket said with a grin, his perverted thoughts coming back in the hundreds.

Right away, the two raced each other to Rocket's bedroom, their motives towards going there shall we say… censored.

But now, Rocket Raccoon was living the dream. He understood now what it was like to love someone, and that going on a date wasn't about fancy suits, looking neat, putting on romantic music, and going through all the trouble of making every detail perfect.

The real reward in a date, is one thing: You. As long as you come, you have just proved that you care about the one you love.


End file.
